How I Came to this Work

I’ve been fascinated by the magic of groups for as long as I can remember.

There is a certain sweetness that happens when people come together around something real—a partnership, a team, a cast, a band, a community. When people show up honestly and the conditions are right, something larger begins moving through the room. It’s electric.

I’ve felt that aliveness in theater ensembles, gymnastics teams, dance troupes, choirs, jazz groups, rehearsal rooms, and creative communities. That experience of belonging—of people making something meaningful together—has always been the good stuff for me.

Looking back, I can see that these experiences taught me how deeply people are shaped by the relationships and communities around them. They also showed me how much becomes possible when people feel safe enough to be honest, creative, and fully present with one another.

Some of the Communities That Shaped Me:

Why I Work With Couples

Most couples aren’t missing love.

Years later, I found language for what I had been sensing all along: relationships are living systems. They develop patterns, emotional climates, and ways of adapting over time.

I’ve always been more than a little in love with love—giving it, receiving it, and watching what becomes possible when two people truly show up for one another.

After years of working with couples, I’ve learned something important: most couples aren’t missing love. They’re caught in patterns that make it hard for that love to move freely between them.

The couples who find their way to my work are often thoughtful, capable people who have built a good life together. From the outside, everything looks solid.

But inside the relationship, something has shifted. Conversations become tense more quickly. Affection comes and goes. One person reaches for connection while the other feels tired, distracted, or overwhelmed.

They still love each other deeply. They simply can’t quite find their way back to the ease they once had.

Helping couples rediscover that aliveness—that sense of being truly on the same team—is the work that lights me up.

My Path Into the Work

My early career was in theater and the performing arts, where collaboration is everything. When the cast, crew, and creative team are aligned, the whole production comes alive. When they aren’t, everyone feels it.

Those experiences sparked a lifelong curiosity about how human systems work—why some groups thrive while others slowly unravel.

That curiosity eventually led me to Naropa University, where I completed a master’s degree in Environmental Leadership, now called Resilient Leadership. My studies focused on living-systems theory, contemplative inner work, and social innovation.

Along the way, I had the privilege of studying the MatrixWorks “Groups as Living Systems” model with Mukara Meredith and later assisting with the course many times.

I then became certified in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), the relationship model developed by Terry Real.

Together, these experiences gave language and structure to something I had sensed intuitively for years:

Relationships are living systems.

When people learn to show up differently within those systems—with greater awareness, honesty, humility, and care—the whole relationship can change.

In 2020, in partnership with Terry Real, I founded the Relational Life Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening relationships and fostering community. I served as Executive Director for more than five years, helping steward a mission that closely reflected my own: reducing loneliness by expanding our capacity for meaningful connection.

Partnership and What I’ve Learned About Love

This is my husband, Nico.

We’ve been together since 2010, when he unexpectedly moved into my house as a roommate. Life has a funny sense of humor sometimes.

Our bond continues to surprise and delight me.

Like any long partnership, we’ve had our share of challenges. What has carried us through is our shared commitment to growth, kindness, and staying curious about one another.

Nico brings a deep sense of peace into my life. I’ve never met anyone so consistently kind.

I’m grateful every day for the partnership we share—and for the fact that he is also an incredible chef.

Where I Come From

I was born and raised in Greenwich Village, New York City, surrounded by art, culture, and creative energy.

That environment shaped me deeply. From an early age, I was drawn to community, collaboration, and the feeling of people coming together to create something meaningful.

Creativity and Community Still Shape My Life

After moving to Colorado, I stayed closely connected to the arts. I helped produce Truth Be Told, Boulder’s Story Slam, served for five years as Volunteer and Sustainability Coordinator for the Boulder International Fringe Festival, and rekindled my love of singing through jazz and the Mosaic Gospel Choir.

Collaboration Over Competition

One of the things I appreciate most about Boulder’s creative community is its spirit of collaboration over competition.

The underlying idea is simple: when others are thriving, we all thrive.

I carry that philosophy into my relationship work. Healthy partnerships are not built through one person winning and the other losing. They become stronger when both people are supported to grow.

What I Care About

• Helping create happier, healthier relationships that allow partners, families, and communities to become more resilient.

• Inviting creative, community-based collaboration.

• Loving open-heartedly, speaking the truth, taking risks, having fun, and treating life—human and otherwise—with a lot of gentleness.
  

Training & Credentials

Certifications

• Certified in Gestalt Therapy, Gestalt Institute of the Rockies

• Certified in Relational Life Therapy, Relational Life Institute

• Certified RLT Relationship Bootcamp Facilitator

• Certified MatrixWorks Teacher: Groups as Living Systems

Education & Additional Training

• M.A. in Resilient Leadership, Naropa University

• Training in Nonviolent Communication

• Training in The Work That Reconnects with Joanna Macy

• Training in Appreciative Inquiry

• Training in Authentic Leadership, at Naropa University

Leadership & Teaching

• Founder and former Executive Director, Relational Life Foundation

• Former Adjunct Faculty, Naropa University, Resilient Leadership M.A. program

• Former Self-Expression and Leadership Program Coach, Landmark Education

• Ordained Minister, Universal Life Church

Thanks for reading!
Now I’d love to get to know you.

Love,
Sarah Melissa